Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Tiny Little Lights

Psst... you wanna know a secret?

I really like Christmas lights.

They may be one of my most favorite things actually.

I mean... I know they're basically pointless and a drain of energy and may possibly make people who don't celebrate Christmas feel uncomfortable or lonely or sad or something.

I'm mostly guessing at that last bit because I do celebrate Christmas so I really have no idea how the lights make people who don't celebrate Christmas feel.  I'm basing this guess primarily on a song a fictional 8-year-old made of construction paper sang once.  I'm realizing this might not be the best basis for a guess ever.  Unless I'm playing some kind of game about beliefs held by the characters on South Park.  That would be a really hard game - those kids change their damn minds a lot.

That was what we in the biz refer to as a "tangent."  By "biz" I mean... uhhh rambling professionally.  Only not professionally.  Because I don't make money doing this.  Amateur rambling.  Olympic qualifiable rambling.  Yeah.  That "biz."

So, anyway.  Back to Christmas lights.  Despite their possibly less desirable qualities, I really like them.  They're just neat.  In my humble opinion.

They just make me feel... good inside.  I'm not so sure I'd go so far as to say they specifically make me happy.  But damn I love Christmas lights.  They're just great.

...And now that I've written all of that and spent a lot of time looking at these pictures I realize they kind of look like little penises.

UPDATED:  Oh man... I just realized that I only took pictures of our outdoor lights which are all white, because I like white lights outside and the multi-colored ones on the tree.  But the ones inside weren't focusing correctly and eventually I gave up and didn't save any pictures of them.  So now my Christmas lights might be racist as well as insensitive to other religions.  Before I was just suddenly worried my lights were those jerks who insist on saying Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays because they know it makes some people uncomfortable and/or sad.  Now I'm worried my lights might be part of the Klan or something.  Which, you know, way worse.  I mean, those people suck but they're not the klan.... oh jeeze.

FURTHER UPDATED: Just to be clear: I'm joking.  And trying to be funny.

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